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Worst blogger ever

Is pretty much what I am right now. For that, and to anyone out there still reading, I humbly apologize. I don’t think anyone was particularly waiting on pins and needles for my next blog post, though, so I’m relatively certain anyone out there still reading this is likely to forgive me. Thanks mom.

I’ve got two excuses for not posting in the last few months. Excuse the first: almost everything witty I could think of to say could be confined to under 160 characters and posted on my Facebook page. Damn you, Facebook. That left me with little need to inflict myself upon the world.

The second is that, for those rare moments when I had something witty to say that took longer than 160 characters to express, it went into my novel. Then it went into my second novel. Yeah…kinda been busy on some projects.

But I’m stuck, now, halfway through this second novel, and longing for a little more direct contact with people. Well, no, not actual direct contact where you have to put on pants and leave the apartment, but direct communication, in any event.

A few things to note: your week can turn around rather completely in the span of a few hours. Last Wednesday, I was lamenting my lack of a job, the fact that my internet had been cut off, the affidavit from ConEdison saing they were going to cut off my power, and my toenails rather insistent voice telling me the were soon going to fall out. A few days later, Internet had been restored, I’d accepted a job, and the electricity company was telling me all had been forgiven.

Still working on that toenail thing, though. At the moment, they look like this:

Ugh

That was the result of a recent hiking expedition to the Appalachian Trail with my brother. Which looked like this:

The Appalachian Trail

And was great fun, but also ultimately led to the picture above. So long, toenails, I knew you well.

I wouldn’t mind so much, but it’s making it hella difficult [Ed note: You just used the word ‘hella’ in a sentence. Authors note: So? Ed note: Yeah…I’m going to have to quit now.] to do a lot of my favorite exercises, like pushups, squats, running, biking, walking…really anything that requires effort or being upright. As a result, I’m extraordinarily twitchy from the lack of physical activity. I expect this will end in six months, once new toenails grow in.

On the other hand, I got to help a new neighbor move in. This was great fun, took about half an hour of my time, and resulted in me getting free beer. Also, I got to have this conversation:

Me: “So…what do you do?”

Him: “Well, I was a pilot. Now I uh…work for the Justice Department.”

Me: “Sweet! That’s like the coolest resume ever. Wait…what part of DoJ?”

Him: “Uh…the FBI.”

Me: “Are you like…an agent?”

Him: “Uh…yeah.”

Me: “You haven’t been doing this very long, have you?”

My new friend is 1. Irish. 2. An FBI agent. 3. A TRAINED PILOT. 4. A marathon runner. 5. Looking for someone to go hiking with. He also has one of those awesome Irish names that’s pronounced “Dave” but spelled with three g’s and no vowels. I hope he doesn’t mind that I’ll be knocking on his door every other day. I also plan on asking everyone I know the question “Do you want me to check with my FBI contact?” even if the preceding sentence is “Do you know where the nearest Ikea is?”

Also, I found this little guy on the street yesterday. I know I shouldn’t bring strays home, but he looked sad and I’ve been wanting to get a pet anyway:

My new pet

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